tragically unhip | quotes

"An inordinate passion for pleasure is the secret of remaining young." - Oscar Wilde

There are only two things to worry about Either you are well or you are sick, If you are well, Then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. If you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends you won't have time to worry!

"Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed." ( via ) -Herman Melville

"when i told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?" {Quentin Crisp}

"don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." {Ann Landers}

"what other culture could have produced someone like Hemmingway and not seen the joke?" {Gore Vidal}

"derek! you are not a monkey!!!" {gayle pellicano}

"it is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to practice neither." {Mark Twain}